Diaper-Depot

I took this photo in a men's bathroom this last weekend. I apologize for the less than magnificent quality of the image but the light was low, and I was acting as speedily/discretely as possible to avoid any sort of misunderstanding. I'm not one to take pictures in public bathrooms regularly, but given the recent lack of any imagination, or content I've had to put into the ol' blog I saw this as an opportunity.



Instantly the name Diaper-Depot (Diaper Decks are for savages) caught my eye. Being the keeper of a depot myself I am automatically in tune with anything that shares the name. While mine is a depot of shitty writing this was a depot shitty diapers; equally as bad.
Secondly there's the amazingly well placed, and appropriate penning of Kid Nasty by presumably Kid Nasty himself. It led me to wonder if this moniker was created solely for writing on diaper changing stations? If so that's fine with me as I work primarily on soap dispensers with the name Hans Soclean.
I googled Kid Nasty to see if this was all part of something bigger and I'm happy to report it's not. The only Kid Nasty of note was the Bakersfield, CA hip hop golden child. KN claims to sound like, "what you've been lookin fo", I'd say he sounds like the poor man's Reh Dogg

Finally, the Diaper-Depot logo is inspiring. Its like the company is saying (with visuals) the easiest way to deal with dirty diapers is to gently place child on the Diaper-Depot's convenient and sturdy fold-down table, then with both hands, reach for the child's throat and tightly grasp. The child will try to fend you off but given it's vulnerable position (infants are like turtles) and, over all lack of strength or mobility, the poop stop forever. Thanks Diaper-Depot!

Longmont Potion Castle.

Before Crank Yankers, before Jerky Boys, a man with a very juvenile sense of humor and lots of free time embarked on a prank calling journey that would span decades and and make Denverites think twice before answereing their phones. LPC a.k.a. Virtual Balboa, Red Brown, Fennel Cartwright, Cooter, Dirk Funk, Gomez, Levi Goulet, Buddy Gripple, Grover, Reginald Maplethorp, Kermit Neville, Nipper, The Polish Stallion, Don Savage, Rusty Savage, Sissy, Dr. Slap, Bonecrusher Smith, Bo "Bobo" Tucci, and Nigel Zacket (just to name a few) pioneered prank calling with the use of various electronic aids such as a digital looper. If you are bored and enjoy this kinda shit there are hours of his annoying, belittling, interrogating, aggravating, and sometimes incoherent conversations floating around on the internet.

Here's a compilation sample of LPC's unique prank styling.

America: home of the awesome.

Here's what's hot right now if you're into Mixed Martial Arts and various other forms of Hickery. It's called Rolling Coal and it's totally tits! All you need is a big diesel truck, a tank of fuel, and a foot. A big dick wouldn't hurt either but if you had one of those you would probably be doing something more worth while than revving your engine in a K Mart parking lot.



The best part is half of Andrew's graduating class died in Iraq so he would have this freedom!

Frat Out Boy

I watched a less-than-enjoyable performance by the beloved Fall Out Boy on Letterman last night. Is it just me or could their lead singer be the incarnate of Chris Farley? Could have just been the way his neck fat jiggled but I swear I was looking at The Beverly Hills Ninja himself.

Singin' About Pervin'

I haven't done Creep of the Week for a some time now but here's a good one to kick off the 2K9er. First of all let me state that I have nothing against Steely Dan; in fact I just downloaded their entire entire catalog off Pirate Bay (it's 3 gigs of music). I will say this though; I do not condone cousin kissing (cousins not related by blood are evaluated on a case by case basis), And, I especially do not condone naming children Dupree. What the fuck kinda fucking family is this?

"How old are you now darlin'? 15? Well why don't you come suck face with old Dupree over here, hot damn"

Please enjoy Cousin Dupree by Steely Dan. Try not to get turned on by the way Fagan tickles the ivories and grasps the keytar's thick blue neck or you're gay.

aye-aye

The blog has been a little less creepy lately. It may be in-part due to to all the gay holiday cheer around here, or perhaps it was never really creepy to begin with. That's behind us now, time to get back to scraping by, scrounging, and digging-in for a whole 'nother year. If it get's to be bad just be thankful you don't resemble a koala bear that survived a horrible cage fire, but never think you are better than him.

2008 in Review

Here now the creepodepot's 2008 in review.

Comic book movie, free money, lost job, lost house, black man makes history, Christmas.

2008: In like lamb, out like 40lbs. of meat and a sweater.

Sport Commenting

I was on Bike Snob NYC the other day and noticed that all the posts had copious amounts of comments. Besides fill me with shame and a senses of inadiquicy at the short comings of my own blog, it greatly intrigued me. It seems that some folks have even made a contest out of being the first to comment on postings by adding things like "firsties" and "podium" to kick off the discussion. Many people comment everyday, some more than once! Since this blog is utter garbage compared to BSNYC, I'm not even gonna hope for such shannagins to transpire at the end of my penning. Instead, I myself am setting off to become a respected commenter in the world of blogging.
The caliber of commenting on BSNYC is sharp as a tac, and there is no way I'm stepping into that verbal shit-storm. So as an amateur I have chosen a small blog dealing with relatively simple subject matter for practice. The blog has a few regular commenters already and I do anticipate some friction between us as I try and join their ranks. I must also mention this is an Australian based blog so some things may become lost in translation (Bill Murry whisper in my ear!). And, the blog actually has a ranking system for users so it will be easy to know when I have reached the status of Respected Commenter! The Blog is called RAD and I've began with this entry.

If you suffer from chronic boredom at work be sure to check back regularly as I will be commenting on every RAD post until I get my respect.

"Adapt To Survive Like A Soldier Coming Back From Iraq"

I resent this statement because:
A. I had a friend come back from Iraq forever in a wheelchair.
B. Dogs are incapable of realizing the cruelty of war.
C. This morning my three legged dog was still the most novel pet on earth.

Dear Clipboard Person,

1.) Don't ask me if I have a second for the environment, I spent it riding my bike here.

2.) Don't ask me to save the children, I just flushed half the components to several hundred thousand of them down the toilet.

3.) Yes I care about the ocean, I just don't don't care about you reaching your pledge quota.

George Baselitz

The art work of Daniel Richter (currently on display at the Denver Art Museum) has in a round about way lead me to discover another now favorite artist, he being George Baselitz. As much a predecessor as a peer to Richter; German Neo-Expressionist painter Baselitz has been churning out stunning pieces like three below for nearly half a century. These being just part of a series entitled "Heroes" finished in the mid 60s. This art coming out of the then divided Berlin depicts Ordinary German people as heroes and rebels in a very grotesque and vulnerable way.

Oh Snake!

I Suck At PhotoShop.

I made this advertisement.


from this advertisement.

I didn't have the right font though.

Teaching Kids 2 Nasty Dance

Who motivated an entire generation of girls to become strippers? Why Disco Rick of course. Here's the instructional/inspirational rap music video "The Nasty Dance".



I am pretty sure he just took a children's song called The Happy Dance and replaced Happy with Nasty but then forgot to change out children with adults in the video.
This definitely helps explain his other hits "Babies in Trash Cans" and "Yo' Momma's on Crack Rock". But all crack hos and pedophiliac tendencies aside, Rick drops the bomb beats, dances like Hammer on Ecstasy, and continues to scare the shit out of folks to this day. Disco Rick be the Sheik Creep of Rapistan bitches.

Feral Children

Got two words for you: Feral Children. Not to be confused with Pharrell or Ferrall, and definitely no laughing matter. I have found evidence of the existence feral children through the internet research I have come to excel in at work. I now submit to you, an unbiased group of my peers, proof of the existence of feral and near-feral children living on the internet.

Example 1
_{watch as much of the following video as you can stomach, you may need to revisit it for clarification:}


As you can see this little girl though not feral is pretty fuckin punk rock for a six year old. We can definitely assume that she was not raised completely by animals, but it is reasonable to assume she may have a parent or parents addicted to Smack, lives in one of these abandon warehouses, and eats dented cans of sauerkraut from a near buy cannery to subsist. Thus, she receives understandably less nurturing and homo social interaction than normal children which is evident in the way she lashes out against objects she finds to be frightening, or incomprehensible. She has had very little or no schooling at all, but based on her defensive techniques, has in fact been exposed to kung fu. Surprisingly however, this girl has learned how to speak though I suspect she is mocking words she has heard repeatedly more so than engaging in comprehensible linguistics due to the fact she simply repeats four fucking words.

Now, as for the gentlemen in the video; this has raised quite a debate within myself. It is possible that they are merely projected imaginary figures the girl has made in an attempt to define and link herself with the human race, or, they are the remnants of her junky father's new wave band on a severe perma-trip who, in such delusional state, actual believe they are playing to a sold out Madison Square Garden.


Example 2
Let's move further away from humanism and view an example of the step just before feralness. This example I like to call Homo Domesticus. As you will see in the video at this particular state of development the subject has zero speech capability, avoids human contact (except when provoked or enticed by reward), and has evolved watching animals rather than humans and thus imitates them is it's movements and gestures.



We can see the subject has learned simple weaponry which may have been learned, but as history proves can be self-taught.

Example 3
As far as complete feralness of human beings are concerned, no cases have been documented in the last century. There has however been this footage of an Indian boy captured in the early 80s who had apparently been raised by a group of wild B-boys. As you will see his movements are highly unorthodox and the noise he makes are indiscernible to the human ear. Though he seems gentle he in fact has never been touched on the dance floor.



In closing, if should ever happen to wander off the beaten path and encounter one of these less than savory little bastards, YOU DON'T BE A HERO! You do what every other one of us would do and fuckin' book it outta there man.

I really apologize to anyone who actually read this whole posting.

My last vacation

Here's some footage from a trip I took to Bass Land this last summer. As you will see the plane ride down there was pretty fun. The trip, only lasting about four minutes, but Dj Laz got us there a full 3 hours ahead of schedule; even after running into some pretty severe turbulence.The staff was great making me feel right at home during the entire trip. We touched down in the middle of a dance party for a few seconds and then before I knew it we were on our way back. That was pretty much it.

Mr. Creepo!!

B horror films meet low budget soft-core porn!? Check out Mr. Creepo's World of Sexy Horror! With titles like Punk Rock Zombie Kung Fu Catfight, Skin Eating Jungle Vampires, and Blood Squirting Vampire Freaks, these films have to be good (I will let you know once I have actually seen them).

Does this not look like the best movie you have ever seen?

Dog Shit

I've got a bone to pick with dog shit. It's not the fact that dogs do shit, that's perfectly normal. My beef with the shit stems from the fact that we as humans find the best thing to do with it is seal it up in plastic bags and forever bury it in the earth. Smug dog owners have been practicing this disposal for decades now, getting high off the fact that they are so responsible they feel no shame grabbing a handful of brown gold and carrying it around for blocks before throwing it in the garbage. Let me ask you this dear dog owner; How responsible is throwing away a sprite bottle full of battery acid, huh? How responsible is letting children play with matches?
It's poop, nature's most potent fertilizer, and here you are preserving it in plastic bags like so many ham sandwich. It's as if we are making a collective effort to prevent the growth of Carbon scrubbing plant life on earth. I would rather have the stank of processed Alpo on my shoe than make another #2 time capsule. This poop bag business is further proof that we don't deserve to live past 2012.
I know that your dog leaving a Hot Carl on a neighbors green grass doesn't really sound like a relationship builder, but if it becomes a big enough problem for him, he'll build a fence. And if you're the super anal type, and can't bring yourself to leave that earth-vitamin laying there, use a glove, a scooper, or even a plastic bag to remove it just please don't seal it up. Throw it in the street, down an alley, or on a roof and let nature take it where it will.




Next month's topic - Cemeteries: What A Fucking Waste Of Space

Alphabet Soup

There is nothing more creepdified than childeren's programming. A grownup has to be in a pretty special state of mind to create something that appeals to 3 year olds. Here is a particularly awesome example from a series called Alphabet Soup by William Wegman.

Bumper Nuts

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